This post is spun off of a longer one I was writing about why you're not lazy or stupid - but this section can be free-standing. I'm posting it by itself to get it out there, and to allow me to branch off to other sections. I'm aware I haven't posted anything in a while, but I HAVE been working.
Mistakes typically seem to have horrible connotations and pain attached to them; people are mortified when they realize they've goofed. Many would rather hide flaws than admit they were wrong. Mistakes are hated and shunned, and for a very logical reason - we've learned to hate them. All of them...including "honest" mistakes. People are trained to be so afraid of making mistakes that they will avoid the chance of being wrong at any cost - including a chance at significant growth.
How much productivity have we lost as a culture because people are afraid to screw up? I believe accountability for your actions is important, but that accountability ends after learning from mistakes and improving. There is nothing right or just about crucifying/punishing someone for messing up, either - yet we see this attitude of unforgiveness and "I'm going to get you" all the time. This isn't just from outsiders - but from within ourselves as well.
I find this to be extremely unfortunate. People equate mistakes with failure, and that's just not the case. One of the best quotes about mistakes I've ever heard came from a real estate guru, Robert G. Allen, when he said "There is no failure; there is only feedback." I believe that this is the natural intention of mistakes; to provide feedback to improve [and correct!] how things are done next time. Yes, some mistakes are more costly than others - but is it necessary to add insult to injury through additional punishments?
My concerns within the school system is that this is exactly what is happening, and the role of mistakes in true learning - as a mechanism of feedback - is being subjugated into a mechanism of terror.
The role of mismatched skills and accompanying mistakes...
...in the poisoning of academic self-esteem
Not every person is good at every activity - and people would rather spend time doing what they're good at than what they're not good at. Different activities require different skill sets, and academia is no different. Unfortunately, academia requires EVERYONE to use a particular set of skills - and accomodations like 504 plans are limited in the substitution/adaptation of skills allowed. Not having the right skill sets for an activity can cause some serious frustrations and setbacks - especially problems related to brain wiring (like executive control/focus problems linked to ADD/HD). Mistakes can and will happen with this mismatch of skill sets. Compensation for shortcomings does not come without some trial and error. Mistakes are the error part of this equation, and come after a trial.
It all starts with one mistake, which leads to frustration and another mistake. Eventually, it becomes an unending cycle of doubt and frustration which stings and snipes at you all the way through college. Every homework assignment, and every paper you try to do is hampered because of this mis-match of skills. It's very frustrating and discouraging, and difficult to survive in such a negative environment. All it takes to set you down this path is, in a vulnerable moment, for one person to even imply that you're not trying hard enough.
Mistakes as learning experiences
As I quoted before, "There is no failure, only feedback." This has been extremely encouraging throughout school - it has reminded me how the natural world; the world outside of academia works. You fall down, you might get scraped up or bleed a little - but you're able to get back up at your own pace. You get as many chances as you need. My own experience has verified this: if Plan A doesn't work, I have always found at least a Plan B. It may be more expensive than Plan A or more time consuming - sometimes both - but the option is always there if you're looking for it.
It's certainly annoying to screw up - but it's not usually a big deal because you can always recover from a blunder. Mistakes are an integral part of the learning process. You can always pick up and try it again, if not something else that could work better. Correction and learning require a continual process of trial and error. Mistakes are the error part of this equation - but in order to capitalize on them, you need to run an additional trial. You typically have enough chances to learn from your mistakes in the real world.
Mistakes as poisonous scars to self-esteem
Academia is different - you usually only get one trial, short-circuiting the learning/correction process. Worse, it is a place where everyone is pressured to be successful. Only if you're lucky do you get additional chances, and even with accomodations, you're typically forced to beg for a do-over. This is an absolutely humiliating process - even at the college level. How do you think a 7th or 8th grader feels?
The pressure the system puts on the children is essentially telling them, "YOU HAVE ONE SHOT TO MAKE IT IN THIS WORLD. DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME OR YOU'LL BE A LOSER FOREVER." Do you think a typical 7th or 8th grader, in such an intimidating environment, is going to have the brass to ask for a redo - or even admit to making a mistake? I don't think so.
I believe this is the main reason the pain of mistakes in the school system is so intense; mistakes, instead of being correctable learning experiences, are cemented into your grades. By the time you find out you're wrong, you're typically too late to do anything about it.
My German classes at my college were a prime example of this: I had studied abroad for a year in Austria after high school. I worked very hard on my German while I was over there, and was good enough to fool natives. A couple of oral German classes in college, through constantly pointing out my mistakes, actually reduced my confidence in my mastery of the spoken language. I'm not the only one who had this experience, either.
Internalization of accumulated mistakes as personal failures
It's painful to hear that you're wrong. It's even more painful to not get chances to fix your mistakes. Make enough mistakes in a row, and the system tells you that you failed a course. How does a frustrated, discouraged student who has been doing everything they can think of hear this? "You're a failure," or, more bluntly, "You suck at life." Add in even a few comments from teachers and parents telling you that you need to "try harder," or that you didn't try "hard enough" to magnify this effect a thousand times. Once that scolding is in your head, it takes a long, hair-tearing time for it to go away - if it ever does.
Look at the difference between the dictionary definitions of mistakes and failures. You'll notice that mistakes are almost all listed as singular events. The final definition of failure describes a person's state of being - as a flawed thing. That's a pretty serious difference. Mistakes are a natural part of learning; a mistake means you're human. Academic mistakes, however, usually seem to imply that you're a human failure. Even worse, students who hear this are expected or required to stay in this negative environment for a minimum of 13 to 17 years (up until college graduation). Is there any wonder that depression and anxiety rates among college students (and I imagine soon high school students as well) are climbing so quickly?
What you can take from this
This isn't exactly encouraging to hear this - but at least it can help you understand where some of your fears of failure come from; academia's structure. I believe many, many problems of perfectionism, and in turn, low self-esteem, come from this unhealthy view of mistakes. It is totally unrealistic to expect people to be perfect. Mistakes are a natural part of being human; academia is an artificial environment. Those of you who are suffering in the school system; take heart in the fact that the real world is much more forgiving than academia. There are always alternatives available if you're looking for them. Best of luck to all of you.
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2 comments:
John:
For someone who has ADD, your doing pretty damn good in terms of keeping yourself "in check". I like what you wrote about the academic environment in school and the unrealistic expectations that are placed upon us as students to always excel to perfection. Couldn't be more true. It can do long term damage to one's self confidence. I hope I am making sense :)
vn. It makes entirely too much sense to disagree with. In fact... and this is why I'm commenting...Coincidentally enough, I only just last week wrote a paper similar to a remark you made under "Mismatched Skills and Accompanying Mistakes."
You said, "Unfortunately, academia requires EVERYONE to use a particular set of skills" -- I actually ranted for a page and a half about how not everyone is a 'writer.' This fact is a huge frustrator to both students and English teachers working with portfolios and writing in general, but it's a fact that many are taught to ignore.
English teachers are given the mantra "everyone is a writer," and it's simply not true. This places unfair expectations both on the students and on the teachers, expectations that are literally impossible to meet. Then when the students do not all become 'writers' and the teachers do not successfully turn every student into a 'writer,' both are seen as failing. As I said, though, this is an impractical (in that it is impossible) goal. We (and by "we" I mean the school system as a whole) are shooting ourselves in the foot.
If you're a college student with the intention of teaching English, or teaching anything for that matter, it's a good thing to keep in mind.
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