Stressed? Anxious? Depressed? Take Some B Vitamins First.

[Note: this post is still pretty rough - and I apologize - but the info is too important for me to hold off posting it. I'll edit it up and fix it later. Tell everyone you know who may be suffering from depression/anxiety issues about this...ESPECIALLY COLLEGE STUDENTS! For now, scroll down to the block quotes for the hard info on the vitamins, and links to other websites.]

I've been dealing with some debilitating anxiety and depression (as well as having zero energy and sleeping problems) for well over two weeks, struggling even to finish up and distribute applications for retail jobs. I had just about had it yesterday. I was really in the pits and also had a headache so awful that I was ready to throw up - which is extremely rare for me. I got desperate for headache cures, and while I was at the grocery store I grabbed pretty much everything I could think of to help ward it off: gatorade powder (dehydration and a lack of electrolytes have caused plenty of headaches in the past), chocolate (for the caffeine), and chewable multivitamins (I hadn't taken any in weeks, and my nutrition had been AWFUL).

In addition to those, I also had a bottle of B vitamin complex at my apartment. I figured that the B vitamins are water soluble (meaning that a trip to the bathroom resolves any potential 'overdose'), so I took one of those in addition to everything else. Suffice it to say, my headache was gone within an hour - and within 2 hours, my mood lifted considerably as well!

On a hunch, I did a search this morning on 'B vitamin depression' and was BLOWN AWAY by what I found.

From an article on about.com (go here for it):

Vitamin B1 (thiamine): The brain uses this vitamin to help convert glucose, or blood sugar, into fuel, and without it the brain rapidly runs out of energy. [A deficiency of B1] can lead to fatigue, depression, irritability, anxiety, and even thoughts of suicide. Deficiencies can also cause memory problems, loss of appetite, insomnia, and gastrointestinal disorders. The consumption of refined carbohydrates, such as simple sugars, drains the body's B1 supply.

This is what the article says on just vitamin B1. I couldn't believe it. I pretty much had a holy grail to my depression problems - in the form of a six to ten dollar bottle of vitamins that would last me two months. Finally, my Paxil AND Adderal have a shot at doing their jobs. As I type, I can feel explosive energy that I haven't felt in months.

College depression rates are absolutely alarming; in 2000, reports were that 10% of students were suffering from depression and as many as 15% show symptoms. More recently, other studies have shown that up to 30-35% of freshmen feel totally overwhelmed. This is from articles from the U of Michigan and the USA Today.

There's a LOT going on while students are in college, there's no doubt. There are many stressors placed on college students these days - and the pressure is just getting worse. I have no doubt that this is a major factor - but depression makes what could be normal ups and downs into staggering difficulties. It is impossible to describe what the struggle is like if you haven't been to those lows. The worst part about it is that it drags everyone around the sufferer into the vortex of misery.

What I noticed missing from the two articles I linked to above are mentions of nutrition...college students are INFAMOUS for malnutrition. It's highly unlikely that someone is going to get all the nutrients they need from a well-balanced diet consisting mainly of ramen noodles, spaghetti, fast food, and mac & cheese - even if that mac & cheese is fortified (as a matter of fact, I think most of them are).

I have to wonder just how much of the depression rates in the US (which are higher than most first world countries) could be contributed to B vitamin deficiencies. Yes, there are still other, serious causes of clinical depression and anxiety - causes that MUST be addressed for someone to get healthy - but to a broke, desperate student (note: 40% of college graduates are without health insurance), this is by far the simplest, most readily available possible solution (in addition to being the most likely cause). In my opinion, it's totally worth it to experiment to find out if this is the root cause. It's a cheap fix.

Ten bucks (if that) at a 24 hour drugstore will get you B Vitamins at ANY time, and if you're wrong, you'll quickly know - and you'll only be out that $10. By comparison, anti-depressants are expensive, require a doctor visit and a prescription, and can take weeks to start kicking in - and even then, side effects could potentially make the problems even worse. I personally found that the vitamins started working within 3 hours. If you feel NO relief after 2-3 days, then this is probably not the cause - you need to seek professional help.

Some other articles:
MotherNature.com:
http://www.mothernature.com/Library/Bookshelf/Books/10/51.cfm
Psychology Today:
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20040726-000014.html
"B Happy":
http://www.archure.net/salus/bhappy.html

The B Happy site lists some toxicity info for a couple of the B Vitamins - which is important to know:

Optimum Daily Intake
Andrew Weil's "Eating Well for Optimum Health" says (pg 126) "The recommended daily allowances (RDAs) set by government agencies were determined only with a view to preventing deficiency states, not to promoting optimum health or treating specific medical conditions". levels.

Dr Shari Libermans "The Real Vitamin and Mineral Book" suggests that the Optimum Daily Intake should be.....
B1 25-300 mg (milli grams)
B2 25-300 mg
B3 25-300 mg
B6 25-300 mg
B12 25-500 mcg (micro grams)

So get the 100 mg size and take up to 3 per day

TOXICITY LEVEL for B-6 Pyridoxine and B-3 Niacin
Warning: do not take 2,000 mg of B6 Pyridoxine daily (nor greater), else you could get Temporary nerve damage (Shari Lieberman specifies it as "Temporary"). You would have to take 20 tablets per day of the strongest B Supplement to do that (keep it to 10 or less per day to be safe).
However, I am of the opinion that B-6 may be Cumulative, and 500 mg or higher on a permanent basis, might be what caused my foot cramping (however, I already had a foot problem, this just might have triggered the already existing problem. I could find no documentation on this, but I did cut back on B-6 by taking B-1, B-2, B-3, B-12, and Folic Acid in separate pills for a week or so, and the problem went away, then I found I could take a 100 mg size of multi B, but if I went over it would start again, and after a couple of months I was able to take at least 200 mg per day

FLUSHING & TURNING RED IS NORMAL & HEALTHY: 250 mg of Niacin (B3) makes you Flush, Itch, and Turn Red (around 30 minutes after you ingest it, or sooner or later), this is normal, OK, and is excellent for cleaning out fat deposits in your arteries and blood veins, however, Niacinamide (also B3) does not Flush and Itch (however, it does not clean your arteries and blood veins), so opt for Niacin, not Niacinamide

NO TOXICITY LEVEL for B-1 B-2, and B-12, The Sky is The Limit
There is no toxicity level known for B1, B2, and B12, and a few manufacturers make a separate B12 with 500 mcg, 1,000 mcg, 3,000 mcg, and even 5,000 mcg (take 1 to 3 times daily, stick under your tongue and let it dissolve underneath your tongue for more efficient absorption). I get at least a total of 5,000 mcg of B12 over a 24 hour period (used to take 20,000 per day for a while), and have notices that my musical abilities and coordination have greatly improved since I have been taking the larger dosages, as B-12 helps ones "Mental/Physical Coordination" (good for musicians and athletes). Many people take a separate B12, in addition to a "multi B" (As the amount of B12 in a B-100 is so small, typically only 100 mcg or 0.1 mg).

"Internet ADD" and How to Fight It

A friend referred me to the Zen Habits webpage a while back, and they have a fantastic post about clearing your computing environment of distractions, reachable here:

http://zenhabits.net/2007/06/8-practical-tips-to-cure-your-internet-add-attention-deficit-disorder/

They have a wonderful step by step process to go from clutter to concentration, so I'll leave them to do that. I'm not above this, at all, and I really...REALLY need to take the advice in this blog post to heart. To give you an idea, I have AIM up and running in the background, a new Wordpad document...

...and twelve tabs open in Firefox.

Par for the course, I guess, having 'true' (biological/brain-based) ADD.

What the post refers to as "Internet ADD" is exactly what Drs. Hallowell and Ratey describe as 'pseudo-ADD' in Answers to Distraction; environmentally encouraged ADD-like behavior.

Interestingly enough, I ran across other authors who believe the same thing. In a fascinating book on neurofeedback called A Symphony in the Brain, by Jim Robbins, the final chapter is FULL of people he interviewed who believe there's more root causes for A.D.D. diagnoses than simple biology. Among them are the authors of The A.D.D. Book (mentioned on pages 230-232), who believe that traditional ADD diagnoses stem from three sources: environmental problems (most likely at the school), people who learn differently from typical methods (essentially a hassle for the system to cope with), and people with neurobiological problems (i.e. true A.D.D.).

There are more solutions than medication. Finding them, sadly, is the tricky part. My hope is that the schools have, or soon will, become more helpful in pointing people to n0n-chemical interventions and not leave people dead in the water.

Alarming Insight on High School Graduation Statistics

While doing some research on the public school system, I ran across some statistics on high school graduation rates (overall and by race). Now, I've run into some pretty wild discrepancies in the graduation rates - from the oft-cited 66% overall graduation rate (50% for some minorities), up to 88-90% overall (cited by the Dept. of Education). This is a serious problem - public education is a VERY serious concern for everyone, affecting the job market, crime rates, and extending into prices on real estate (a book I recently finished, The Trap, has details on a lot of this).

So much in American life hinges on the true success rate of public schooling - the American Dream itself is at stake. One of the most valuable tools I picked up from my Economics degree was the ability to discern what is really being told by the statistics people are citing, and I had a hard time knowing who/what to believe...

...until I bumped into this study explaining those numbers. After this study commented that the 88-90% grad rate quote was more accurate - I looked more carefully as to why, and who they were including:

It turns out that this 90% grad rate includes people with any form of GED.

In my opinion, a person with a GED does NOT constitute a success of the public school system - only people with true high school diplomas should be considered successes. Luckily, this study had that information as well. Quoting directly from the research:

The overall high school graduation rate with a regular diploma is between 80% and 83%, with the best data (NELS) showing an 82% rate.

Estimates of the black rate of graduation from high school with a regular diploma range between 69% and 75%, with the NELS showing a 74% graduation rate.

Estimates of Hispanic high school graduation rates with a regular diploma range between 61% and 74%, with the NELS showing a 74% rate.

For both the black and Hispanic grad rate quotes, the paper had this to add, almost as an afterthought: "This is substantially higher than the frequently alleged 50% rate..."

I don't consider an 82% completion rate of regular high school overall, with a 74% high school diploma rate (at most) for minorities success. Personally, in light of the flaws in the 66%/50% rates often quoted, I find this even more alarming - partially because the people so passionate about fixing the education system are using flawed numbers and NOT these...more respected numbers. Through discounting their statistics, people seeking change are losing their credibility (and voice) to change the system. These statistics, on the other hand, are the ones that need to be shouted around the country.

The school system is failing/failing to serve 1 in every 5 children overall, and 1 in 4 blacks or Hispanics - forcing them to seek a G.E.D on their own time. This should just NOT be happening. On a website quoting the 66%/50% statistics, dropouts were asked why they dropped out; among those who answered, the top two responses (almost evenly split) were that either the students were bored, or overwhelmed.

The worst part about all of this is that it can be corrected - and I am getting to the bottom of this. It makes me furious, and I am working on a book to offer some insight/suggestions for the school system. For those of you who have been reading my blog (and I thank you!)- this is one of the main reasons I haven't been updating (and I apologize).

If you have any useful information/statistics, or know of any super-successful systems I should take a look at, leave a comment about it or send me an e-mail. This cannot be allowed to go on - and parents and teachers have little control over the antiquated teaching methods used and taught.

If you have concerns or ideas you want to take to your State Ed department, do so here:
http://www.ed.gov/about/contacts/state/index.html?src=ln

To contact the national office, information is available here:
http://www.ed.gov/about/contacts/gen/index.html?src=ln

Good luck, and may you all (parents, teachers, administrators, and especially students) have a fulfilling school year.

New layout and changes

Although I haven't been posting much recently, there have been a lot of changes behind the scenes. I've been fortunate enough to have a reader approach me to offer help with editing and layout issues. Her input has been VERY useful (thanks, Joanna!). I'll be tinkering past posts to improve their flow, and have already changed the blog's template to cause less eye strain and make the information more readable.

Thanks for your patience!

All-Nighters update!

I discovered an e-book that had been published - no more than a month ago, and ironically with the exact same title as my blog post - about pulling all-nighters. I was VERY pleased to see that most of the suggestions in my original post were either confirmed or reinforced by what I read in the press release. I'll break down what I read:

Confirmed: Save your stimulants until after 2 AM.
According to the info in the press release, your concentration/alertness bottoms out between 3-6 AM because of the circadian rhythm.

Reinforced info:

I suggested with sugar intake in my Vending Machine Nutrition post that a great, measurable way to get enough consistent energy to your brain is to eat 2-3 Skittles every 5-10 minutes. I use Skittles because they're bite sized, easily measured 'doses' of sugar. Gummi bears work too, as do any other candies in set sizes.

The brain is different from muscles in the fact that the brain has no ability to store energy; it takes all nourishment in directly from the blood. What I didn't know is that your brain burns a full 20% of all the blood sugars in your body. I knew the burn rate had to be high, but I had no idea it was that high.

In addition, the brain burns even more energy when trying to focus...especially between those low hours of 3-6 AM. What the guide suggested, that I didn't, was to actually use more sugar than protein for those hours. I still think getting some protein (heck, a non-fatty meal if you can swing it) is a very good idea.

One pack of Skittles should last anywhere from 1 1/2 to 3 hours...long enough to get you to 6 AM. I've tried it when I'm feeling absolutely gone (downing a can of pop), and I've been very impressed with the results. Just make sure your blood sugar levels don't collapse, or you're going to feel even more sluggish.

Update: Downsides of Alcohol consumption

The article/press release about the book mentioned that alcohol should not be consumed AT ALL before/during an all-nighter. I've read various other articles on what it does, and they basically repeated them - "reducing mental efficiency while studying" and messing with REM sleep, which is when the brain stores new memories. This is probably why blackouts occur; so much alcohol has been ingested that new memories CAN'T be stored.

While I agree with what they say about memory and sleep (I will not sleep well even after one drink), I'm not so sure about small (pre-buzz) doses of alcohol reducing mental efficiency. As I wrote in my post on alcohol, one of the other effects alcohol has is as a very fast-acting sugar. Ignoring the drug effects of alcohol, I think it's possible to use it like street cars use nitro for a fast power boost. One or two drinks typically make me feel hyper-alert. Beyond that I'm sluggish.

What it boils down to, basically, is that alcohol use depends on what you're doing during the all-nighter. If you're studying for a test, it's probably a mistake because of the effects on memory (and they're very clear, from an article I read in an old Psychology Today: "Is College Bad For You?"). You probably won't remember anything you learned while intoxicated very well after three weeks (let alone three hours), and the same goes while sleep deprived. Will that matter? That's your call.

If you're writing a paper that you feel is no big deal, alcohol might be irrelevant. I wouldn't recommend using it if you weren't planning on it already; but most of the research out there has focused on the long term (the memory effects, etc). I'm still not convinced about the immediate short run, though - which is pretty much the only thing that counts when you're in a crisis. The choice is yours, here's some info to help you make an informed decision. Alcohol can still come back to bite you, so be careful.

The book is available through LuLu for $15. You can be sure that I'm going to get it at some point!

A Case Study on Draining Schoolwork

Because I was always good at math (mental math in particular), I decided to be a physics major in college. Nearly flunking out of UMTYMP (A gifted math class; I took college level honors calc in 9th grade) in high school twice should have been a clue that this may have been a bad idea, but I was pretty set on it anyway.

The basics were GREAT - I love the conceptual side of physics. However, things went downhill quickly the more advanced the material got. Analytical mechanics and quantum physics? Ugly. I was hitting my threshold for frustration tolerance on a very consistent level...my ADD got in the way.

Whenever I hit my 30 minute concentration limit but made no perceptible progress toward finishing a problem, my brain just shut down - even with meds. I actually got physically tired, sluggish and was unable to think. If I couldn't do 30 minute problems, how was I supposed to do single problems that took SIX HOURS (quantum mechanics)?

I could not figure out how to make it work. Even though I had gotten my suggestions at the counseling center at the beginning of the semester (for my accommodations), and knew all of what was offered within the physics department, I didn't bother to go back and tell them I was having trouble with this stuff. How were they going to help me? In hindsight, I should have gone in to the professors the second I started to feel drowsy after working on a problem. However, that was typically very intimidating - and I was generally unhappy and felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall.

After failing one class and dropping two more, I finally dropped the major. Happily, though, I still had another major I was working towards, and a killer extracurricular that I loved - theater. Ironically, the decision to drop quantum (and thus the major) happened because a test was going to fall the day after opening night of one of the plays. Had I not dropped it then, I would have later had another test fall like that after a different play. I learned quite well the difference between quitting and cutting your losses.

Withdrawl: An escape without other options

What would you do if you were forced into an activity that caused you a lot of emotional pain and trauma? Does the working world expect you to stay at a job where people tell you that you're lousy for 13 to 17 years of your life? Of course not. An adult has the option to say, "I quit," and find an alternative, healthier work environment. Children, teens, and young adults in college do not have this luxury, or in truth ANY options. They are simply expected to tough it out or maybe find better classes (most of which are set up exactly the same way). Alternative learning methods/systems are usually prohibitively expensive - and these are placed on the parents' shoulders to recognize and find.

How would you survive this emotional onslaught, especially if you were fairly sure what was going to happen when all was said and done (i.e. inevitably fail your papers, tests, etc.)? More often than not, students just quit; before having any alternatives offered by the system. This doesn't even scratch the surface of our appalling high school dropout rates: 33% nationally - that is, 1 in 3 students. I don't know how bad it is for college students, though I read once that of a group of ADHD students polled who even tried college (20% of those surveyed), only a quarter of them graduated with a degree (1 in 20; or 5%).

If they don't outright drop out, they often give up mentally and accept their fate as underachievers (i.e., lazy good-for-nothings). The lucky ones will be stubborn enough to succeed in spite of problems - and seek out working survival solutions (what this blog is intended to help with). The way these achievement problems are labeled, and consequently handled, can make or break a student - both mentally and grade-wise. Even though I suspect that the information on graduation rates of ADHD students in college is outdated, I wouldn't be surprised if it still severely lags the overall graduation rate.

That *may* be changing as more colleges respond to the needs of these students (it would be about time), but unfortunately, students still need to be their own best advocates to ensure their survival in the academic wilderness. Most classes still use teaching methods that hit ADHD weak zones (like lecturing and long projects). To get a reprieve, get involved in extracurriculars.

With all the odds stacked against them, it's difficult to see the upside of getting through schooling - but it is worth it. I hope and envision that someday soon, having an LD like ADD/HD will be completely irrelevant to someone's ability to get through school and college. Until then, don't give up! There is an end to the frustration. Knowing this was one of the only things that pulled me through, and I wish you all a better academic experience.

Are You Lazy? How to Tell in Ten Seconds

There is no doubt that not doing schoolwork is a bad omen, but laziness is an over-applied reason. I can point out you're not lazy in about ten seconds through one simple question...

Do you have any hobbies or interests that excite you? Things that can engulf your attention non-stop; potentially to the point of losing track of time? That is, is there anything you're extremely passionate about doing that takes hard work? If you answer yes to any of these, you're not lazy. There are many examples of this that prove exactly the opposite of the laziness lie...that someone is really incredibly industrious.

Examples are performing arts, whether it be an instrument, dance, or especially group activities like show choirs or theater/stage performing is NOT lazy. Actors can work incredibly brutal schedules, spending 15 hours a day preparing, performing, and rehearsing. Anybody who plays a sport - even if they do NOTHING outside of practices, is still giving as much as they possibly can all the time. Extracurriculars in general give people an outlet as something to take pride in...and are a key debunker of 'laziness' and a savior of self esteem.

Another example is a student who can spend 2-3 hours a day faithfully playing a video game - in particular, I'm talking about players of MMORPGs - examples of which are World of Warcraft, Everquest, Guild Wars or Maple Story. The reason I bring up video games is because they are typically blamed for a student's problems, or worse, the students themselves are called lazy for engaging in these games. Parents and teachers may be aware of the addictive qualities of these games, but they more often than not (unless they are players themselves) fail to understand just how much WORK, TIME and PASSION players pour into improving their characters.

Case in point: I worked very hard on a character I had in a MMORPG (a game like Everquest or World of Warcraft) called Dark Age of Camelot (a level 50 Warden in Hib/Kay with over 1130 AC, if you're wondering); after a year and a half of playing, I checked how much total time was spent in game in this one character: to my embarrassment and astonishment, over 55 days were spent in game. That's over 1300 hours.

Is it fair to call anybody who works on a single project for that long over that kind of timeframe lazy? I don't think so, and I wanted to make a point of this. At its worst, it's misapplied time - but this kind of dedication is a mark of industriousness. Players who have such characters have every right to take a great deal of pride in their accomplishments. They've worked for it! How, then, if all of the above people are so industrious, can they not spend even twenty minutes on their homework? Simple. It's not at all stimulating, and I would hardly call a letter grade "feedback."

Even though I was diagnosed with ADD in second grade, the damaging labels did not creep into the picture until much, much later. How much sense does it make to call a primary schooler lazy? It wouldn't happen until workloads get more intense (middle school, roughly 7th and 8th grades)...which is when the label of 'lazy' starts to creep in like a slow poison. It's just not true - counter any thoughts, implications, or outright accusations of laziness with the above. You deserve better than that. Laziness is not the real issue. The real issue will be covered in another post.

Factual Commentary on The Word: Psychopharma-Parenting

As I watched the Colbert Report tonight, I was thinking about an episode of his that I saw about a year ago or so on this very subject. I decided to head over to comedy central's Motherload to see if it was still in their archives. It was...and it's still hilarious to listen to. For fun, with some facts included to enhance the experience, I'm embedding the clip into this post, with some commentary placed below the clip.

I must say I'm pretty impressed with the writers - they really did their research! Armed with the April 23 U.S. News & World Report, of which the cover story is "Speed Freaks," I've learned a few more factoids about stimulant over-use in the US (particularly caffeine) which are relevant. In addition, that article is the subject of a coming post. I was mortified when I read it, but that will wait for later. Enjoy! :)



"They've got all these fun activites that they don't allow the kids to do."
Just minutes before starting this clip, he mentioned that dodgeball has pretty much been banned from schools. Sad! It was a staple of my grade school gym experience! What's wrong with an occasional nosebleed, or even a scratch or bruise?!? Nobody can have fun anymore.

Once again, trial and error have been pulled out of the system because the schools are afraid of nosebleeds (getting crucified by parents). Sure, the kid might get sucker-smacked in the face once or twice, but next time...he'll know to duck. That is, assuming he doesn't get distracted by someone's glinting watch...

"...there was enough [children's medications] to feed an army; or, at least, increase an army's attention span."
A factoid I didn't know until I read the U.S. News article: "The U.S. military issued amphetamine tablets to soldiers during WWII to prevent fatigue."

"It's a darn good thing more kids are getting medicated. The article says they're...[written: teenagers]"
This is a valid criticism/concern - my view is to medicate when/as needed, and not more. This could still mean being medicated every day is quite beneficial - as I learned AFTER graduating college...go figure. Still, as long as the student can pass without meds, *and also feels happier off them*, I believe it should be their choice. As I've said before - even though I was diagnosed in 2nd grade, I didn't medicate until 7th grade (when I nearly flunked out of a gifted math class).

"Instead of spanking their butts, we're spanking their brains."
I've read pretty much every opinion about how much schools/parents/doctors are over-prescribing the meds, and I'm not quite sure who's really the most accurate. Really, it depends on who you ask, and how involved they are in the real diagnosis process. Personally, I trust the opinions of psychologists with ADHD the most.

One new thing that has surfaced over the last few years is the changing view of the role teachers play in diagnosing it. The best description I've heard boils down to this: Teachers are in the best position to spot ADHD in children, because they see enough students to recognize who stands out. Coupled with a psychologist's examination, this is very powerful evidence towards an accurate diagnosis.

"Having a kid on meds is like having a kid with adjustable knobs."
While I don't have anything funny to say, I can verify from experience that the stimulant meds really do act like a kind of knob. Off meds, I constantly have some sort of 'chatter' going on in my head - either music, fleeting thoughts, or a conversation with myself. Meds turn down the internal volume, helping me to concentrate.

"Now, I'm no doctor - I don't know the long term effects..."
I got a really good laugh the first time I heard this - the caption at the end of that sentence pretty much says it all. There still isn't much out there yet; I'm guessing we won't get more conclusive info for another 3-5 years.

However, Dr. Amen has talked in his books about the effects a lot of long-term caffeine exposure has on the brain (this is one form of self-medicating, as is nicotine; i.e. ways people undiagnosed with ADHD who may have it treat their 'sloppiness' or 'laziness,' whatever) ...essentially, caffeine shrinks the brain slightly over time. Interestingly, he does not believe the prescription stimulants do this.

"...but I do know the long term effects on the pharmaceutical industry: fantastic."
I don't really have much to say about this, except that I learned last week at a conference that for treatment options, stimulants alone worked way better than behavior therapy alone. If you need the meds to scrape through, by all means use them!

Random fact - and the real reason I posted this quote: a new stimulant med is being developed that will only activate if absorbed through the stomach - and not through snorting. I personally find it kind of funny and sad at the same time, that this is going to be its selling point.

Never snorted my Adderal/Ritalin, and never sold it to anybody else either. As another matter of fact - 3% of all college students have taken prescription stimulants that weren't prescribed to them, and that number is growing pretty fast. I do NOT recommend selling your prescriptions to others...it could get pretty ugly if something bad happens.

That's all for now! Keep posted for more info coming soon.

The Role of Mistakes in Learning vs. Academia

This post is spun off of a longer one I was writing about why you're not lazy or stupid - but this section can be free-standing. I'm posting it by itself to get it out there, and to allow me to branch off to other sections. I'm aware I haven't posted anything in a while, but I HAVE been working.

Mistakes typically seem to have horrible connotations and pain attached to them; people are mortified when they realize they've goofed. Many would rather hide flaws than admit they were wrong. Mistakes are hated and shunned, and for a very logical reason - we've learned to hate them. All of them...including "honest" mistakes. People are trained to be so afraid of making mistakes that they will avoid the chance of being wrong at any cost - including a chance at significant growth.

How much productivity have we lost as a culture because people are afraid to screw up? I believe accountability for your actions is important, but that accountability ends after learning from mistakes and improving. There is nothing right or just about crucifying/punishing someone for messing up, either - yet we see this attitude of unforgiveness and "I'm going to get you" all the time. This isn't just from outsiders - but from within ourselves as well.

I find this to be extremely unfortunate. People equate mistakes with failure, and that's just not the case. One of the best quotes about mistakes I've ever heard came from a real estate guru, Robert G. Allen, when he said "There is no failure; there is only feedback." I believe that this is the natural intention of mistakes; to provide feedback to improve [and correct!] how things are done next time. Yes, some mistakes are more costly than others - but is it necessary to add insult to injury through additional punishments?

My concerns within the school system is that this is exactly what is happening, and the role of mistakes in true learning - as a mechanism of feedback - is being subjugated into a mechanism of terror.

The role of mismatched skills and accompanying mistakes...
...in the poisoning of academic self-esteem

Not every person is good at every activity - and people would rather spend time doing what they're good at than what they're not good at. Different activities require different skill sets, and academia is no different. Unfortunately, academia requires EVERYONE to use a particular set of skills - and accomodations like 504 plans are limited in the substitution/adaptation of skills allowed. Not having the right skill sets for an activity can cause some serious frustrations and setbacks - especially problems related to brain wiring (like executive control/focus problems linked to ADD/HD). Mistakes can and will happen with this mismatch of skill sets. Compensation for shortcomings does not come without some trial and error. Mistakes are the error part of this equation, and come after a trial.

It all starts with one mistake, which leads to frustration and another mistake. Eventually, it becomes an unending cycle of doubt and frustration which stings and snipes at you all the way through college. Every homework assignment, and every paper you try to do is hampered because of this mis-match of skills. It's very frustrating and discouraging, and difficult to survive in such a negative environment. All it takes to set you down this path is, in a vulnerable moment, for one person to even imply that you're not trying hard enough.

Mistakes as learning experiences

As I quoted before, "There is no failure, only feedback." This has been extremely encouraging throughout school - it has reminded me how the natural world; the world outside of academia works. You fall down, you might get scraped up or bleed a little - but you're able to get back up at your own pace. You get as many chances as you need. My own experience has verified this: if Plan A doesn't work, I have always found at least a Plan B. It may be more expensive than Plan A or more time consuming - sometimes both - but the option is always there if you're looking for it.

It's certainly annoying to screw up - but it's not usually a big deal because you can always recover from a blunder. Mistakes are an integral part of the learning process. You can always pick up and try it again, if not something else that could work better. Correction and learning require a continual process of trial and error. Mistakes are the error part of this equation - but in order to capitalize on them, you need to run an additional trial. You typically have enough chances to learn from your mistakes in the real world.

Mistakes as poisonous scars to self-esteem
Academia is different - you usually only get one trial, short-circuiting the learning/correction process. Worse, it is a place where everyone is pressured to be successful. Only if you're lucky do you get additional chances, and even with accomodations, you're typically forced to beg for a do-over. This is an absolutely humiliating process - even at the college level. How do you think a 7th or 8th grader feels?

The pressure the system puts on the children is essentially telling them, "YOU HAVE ONE SHOT TO MAKE IT IN THIS WORLD. DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME OR YOU'LL BE A LOSER FOREVER." Do you think a typical 7th or 8th grader, in such an intimidating environment, is going to have the brass to ask for a redo - or even admit to making a mistake? I don't think so.

I believe this is the main reason the pain of mistakes in the school system is so intense; mistakes, instead of being correctable learning experiences, are cemented into your grades. By the time you find out you're wrong, you're typically too late to do anything about it.

My German classes at my college were a prime example of this: I had studied abroad for a year in Austria after high school. I worked very hard on my German while I was over there, and was good enough to fool natives. A couple of oral German classes in college, through constantly pointing out my mistakes, actually reduced my confidence in my mastery of the spoken language. I'm not the only one who had this experience, either.

Internalization of accumulated mistakes as personal failures

It's painful to hear that you're wrong. It's even more painful to not get chances to fix your mistakes. Make enough mistakes in a row, and the system tells you that you failed a course. How does a frustrated, discouraged student who has been doing everything they can think of hear this? "You're a failure," or, more bluntly, "You suck at life." Add in even a few comments from teachers and parents telling you that you need to "try harder," or that you didn't try "hard enough" to magnify this effect a thousand times. Once that scolding is in your head, it takes a long, hair-tearing time for it to go away - if it ever does.

Look at the difference between the dictionary definitions of mistakes and failures. You'll notice that mistakes are almost all listed as singular events. The final definition of failure describes a person's state of being - as a flawed thing. That's a pretty serious difference. Mistakes are a natural part of learning; a mistake means you're human. Academic mistakes, however, usually seem to imply that you're a human failure. Even worse, students who hear this are expected or required to stay in this negative environment for a minimum of 13 to 17 years (up until college graduation). Is there any wonder that depression and anxiety rates among college students (and I imagine soon high school students as well) are climbing so quickly?

What you can take from this

This isn't exactly encouraging to hear this - but at least it can help you understand where some of your fears of failure come from; academia's structure. I believe many, many problems of perfectionism, and in turn, low self-esteem, come from this unhealthy view of mistakes. It is totally unrealistic to expect people to be perfect. Mistakes are a natural part of being human; academia is an artificial environment. Those of you who are suffering in the school system; take heart in the fact that the real world is much more forgiving than academia. There are always alternatives available if you're looking for them. Best of luck to all of you.

Two fantastic gadgets & their uses

Though I've mentioned some of my personal gadgetry in passing, I didn't really fully cover it. I'd like to focus a bit more on these two things I've been using for a long time. The first is my PDA (I use a Palm Zire), and the second is my digital recorder (Olympus DM-10).

One of the great things about these electronics is that they can knock out the clutter in your life. Kali Karagias does a FANTASTIC job describing what an ADD/HD person's mind is like in her blog. Her recent post "When a Cork Board Isn't Enough" gets right at the core of the internal mess, plainly saying "It ain't wikipedia up there." Those of you without ADD have absolutely NO idea how true that is. It sucks.

PDAs

A PDA can help fill in the gaps. Not only can you essentially digitize all your sticky note reminders, schedules, calendars, phone numbers, and ideas, but you also get the benefit of being able to set ALARMS. I found this to be incredibly important during college, and my blog post on the biological importance of scheduling to ADDers can help explain why. It's a lot easier to take reminders to do things from yourself than from nagging friends, parents, teachers, and classmates (to name a few).

Typically, if something is not a regularly scheduled (say, weekly or daily) or recurring event, your brain will never register it. With a PDA, you can capture it at the time you hear about it and set it to remind you soon enough to take action on it. I can't tell you the number of times I'd be in the middle of something, assuming it's a normal day, when my reminders go off. I'd be puzzled by the chime, look at the reminder, and be surprised/relieved/happy to have dodged a potential bullet I never saw coming.

It's a fantastic tool for anybody who is busy...and is a GREAT compliment to a monthly calendar/weekly planner. A fantastic counselor at my college pointed out that you won't be able to do long-term planning very well, because you're typically limited by the screen to view a day's worth of stuff. This is a very good point, and is why I say it's a very good compliment to a calendar system - if you have one in place.

Still, I could program all of my classes in - start time, end time, the days of the week class met, and tell it when the end of the semester was, all from pretty much one screen. I LOVED it. You can find cheapo, basic ones for maybe $20 or so at any Target or Wal-Mart. The one I use is a basic, black and white Palm Zire, which cost about $99 at the time I got it. Even those basic models, once you learn how to use them, are VERY useful.

Digital Recorders

I hinted at their use in how I killed writer's block. In addition, if you've got 504 accomodations (and sometimes if you don't and just ask the professor), you can usually record lectures as well as conversations focused on brainstorming ideas. A few great things digital recorders have over analog tape recorders:

1. Higher end ones can record a minimum of 10-20 hours of audio at once.
2. You can almost always save the files on your computer.
3. MP3 or WMA file formats (on higher end ones)
4. Some models allow you to set 'index' marks in the audio...playback checkpoints, if you will.
5. Speech-to-text compatability (also on higher end models)
   

These are GREAT for storing archives of class lectures, and these things have an unbelieveable variety of uses. On a side note, rechargable batteries rock. 3 sets of them mean you'll never have to worry about missing anything - you can spend more time listening than scribbling furiously in your notes. Why 3 sets? 1 set in the player, a backup in your bookbag when the main set gets drained, and a 3rd one always charging. Cycle as they drain.

A word of caution

I know what some of you may be thinking...with all that audio archived on your computer in universally playable file formats, you could sell it to classmates and make a killing. In addition, you may also think you can just forget about class for the semester and have a classmate record the lectures for you. DON'T...PLEASE DON'T.

For starters, you usually need to get permission from the teacher just to have it - many of mine had bad experiences with that in the past. The teacher is trusting you with their curriculum - don't betray them by dishing it out to the highest bidder...just because your teacher let you record the lectures does not mean they will let the next person do it, if you abuse the privilege. DON'T take that privilege away from future students.

Second, an audio recording is not the same if you weren't actually there to see/hear/participate in the class. I have read in various places that one of the single, most important keys to success as a student is simply showing up in class...and I agree with that assessment. You know your own classes better than I do, but still - I think it's better to be present and nodding off than slumbering in your bed. In addition, if you're in class and you're nodding off to the point where your pencil starts to leave streaks across your notes (it's happened to me, it's NOT fun), you can always mark the point where you realized you were nodding off, come back to it later, and rewind back through what you missed. I digress.

While I recommend against selling/distributing copies of your lectures (or showing others how to do it), I see no reason why a classmate can't, in an emergency, listen to your recordings IN YOUR PRESENCE. Your #1 priority when recording lectures is to safeguard your professor's curriculum - and by not allowing copies out, you can still allow people to listen when necessary.

Price guidelines

The digital recorder I use, the Olympus DM-10, cost about $100...WELL WORTH IT. Most good ones are at least $80...though you can get inexpensive ones for as little as $30-$40. If yours doesn't have an index function, use a stopwatch (typically on cell phones) to mark times.

Index markers

The index markers I could set have been absolutely amazing for me, and this is the reason I chose the Olympus over others. You can set up to 16 index marks per recording, and jump directly to those spots during playback simply by hitting the fast forward and rewind buttons - just like changing tracks on a CD. It's amazing. I have used the numbered index markers in a number of ways, including the following:

1. During lectures and Writing Center sessions, to mark changes in topic (during lectures, I will hit the index button, and mark in my written notes which index # it is in the margin, like 'i2' and the time. Writing center sessions - this allowed me to re-hear material while I was playing back the brainstorming session; this in turn allowed me to continually regain my train of thought while typing).
2. During lectures, to mark points I either space out or nod off (marking the same way as above, and noting that i dozed off)
3. CAR DIRECTIONS; using a different index point for each turn - allowing me to keep my eyes on the road, while still getting the directions I need.

The possibilities are endless. Use your imagination! This is just a taste of what these tools can do for you. I have used both types for years, though some of the uses have been pretty recent (particularly the use with the writing center). Find your own, and let me know so I can add those uses to the blog!

"OH, @#$@#$!" What to do when you've backed yourself into a corner.

There are going to be times when, no matter what happens and no matter how much effort you put in to something...you're going to screw up. Sometimes, the fall is negligible or easily shrugged off - many times I neglected papers (sometimes final papers) that were only worth 5 to 10% of my grade.

I think the reason I usually procrastinated my papers for so long was due to my horrible problems with writer's block - until I was FORCED by timelines to attempt to finish them. Other times I just gave up before starting because I knew I was doomed from the beginning. I've already written on my experience defeating writer's block to potentially protect you from that; but I have not yet spoken about too little, too late.

In addition to stalling and procrastinating papers, I've also slept through tests, not done groupwork by the time our group was supposed to meet, and (when I was REALLY mentally sick) even not shown up for a group presentation before. It's an awful, humiliating feeling.

This is probably the most...somber post I've written about so far, but it is something that has come up in part due to the walls on one of the facebook groups I'm a member of. While it may not seem like it, your reaction after screwing up is a CRITICAL part of survival! I'll take you step by step through the process.

Assess the Damage

One thing I will preach (from here on out, since I haven't yet) over and over again is that you must always know where you stand. You can't make a reasonable decision if you don't. In pure survival terms, the difference between an A and a B is a laughable difference in GPA - the difference between a D and an F is credit...or, as in my own personal circumstances, the difference between a D+ and a C- could be graduation. To give you an idea of how my college letter grades look...let's just say you could almost write a symphony with my transcript. I graduated with a GPA between 2.6 and 2.7; and I was even smart enough to join MENSA.

What kind of a grade were you getting before? What % of your final grade is this project? Are there more projects coming up? Do you have a cushion? Do you have, or can you get partial credit? How's your relationship with your teacher? Can you afford to let it slide? Or worse, is it a group assignment?

All of these questions are important, as their answers dictate how you can outwardly react. If your grades are decent, the project isn't worth much, and you feel like you'll pass without worrying about it - you may be able to just ignore it...it's your choice. I've done it before, and I passed. My grades took a beating, but that was acceptable damage. Those 5 and 10% hits were easy to take, because my test scores almost always made up for it. 15% is...borderline. You'd better know yourself pretty darn well before you let go of 15%. The thing is, in any case - you may not have to let go of these assignments.

Look at your options

I've already told you your first option: not to bother. That one's easy. The next options aren't too difficult, but getting the nerve to acutally do them certainly can be. Do you have *anything* you can turn in? If you can get partial credit and don't want to think about your assignment any more - 50% is a lot better than zero.

If this is important to you, you'll need to find a way to buy yourself more time to finish. If you're on 504 accomodations, this is fairly straightforward: ask for more time. Extensions were one of the options consistently offered to me by my counseling centers. Preferably, ask for more time no later than the morning the assignment is due - earlier if possible. Even if you don't have 504 accomodations, you may still be able to ask. Know your teacher, and your stance WITH your teacher. This could make a huge difference. As I said, the earlier you are able to ask, the better off you'll be. While you're looking to pass, you don't want to put *too* much pressure on your teachers.

Sometimes, espeically with a proactive teacher, you might get lucky by simply turning in what you've got. I've done that before, and received an e-mail later that day saying "I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you turned in this draft by mistake. Send me the full paper as soon as possible."

What I had done, to get as much partial credit as possible after starting late, was just start typing what I could - and when I hit writer's block, I found a quote that I was able to use as a catalyst for ideas, wrote the quote out below what I wrote, and just started typing like crazy. Very few teachers will react like this, however. More often than not, you're going to need to speak to them PERSONALLY if you want more time. This also includes discussing things with other students when you've screwed up on a group project.

Discuss matters with those affected (teachers and other students)

I can just feel all of you cringing right now at this suggestion. I don't blame you - it SUCKS...especially when you could bring other people down with you. Before I go further, let me just give you some of my personal observations - they're important enough to deserve all caps and boldface:

1. SHOW THAT YOU'RE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN, AND BE WILLING TO ASK FOR HELP. Whatever that entails, do it.
   
2. YOUR TEACHERS AND GROUPMATES ARE ON YOUR SIDE. Nobody wants to see you fail - while they may be frustrated, angry or disappointed, people will likely cut you some slack if they see that you're trying!
3. AVOID ALIENATING THE PEOPLE YOU'RE WORKING WITH/FOR IF AT ALL POSSIBLE. You need them to help you, and may be working with them later.
   
4. IF YOU WOULDN'T SAY IT TO A CLASSMATE, DON'T SAY IT TO A TEACHER. Students are typically not going to buy into BS - especially when their own grades are on the line. In addition, your teachers are professionals - they've been in academia a lot longer than you have.
5. 504 ACCOMODATIONS (if you have them) DO *NOT* - I REPEAT, DO *NOT* - OBLIGATE YOUR TEACHERS TO PASS YOU. I can't stress this important fact enough.
6. IN EXTREME CASES, THE LAST DAY OF CLASS MAY NOT NECESSARILY BE YOUR LAST CHANCE. There's a delay between the last day of finals and when grades are due to the administration. In addition, at least at my school, I was sometimes able to get 'incompletes' on my grades which could give you an additional week or so over the grade due dates to revive your standing. This is something you MUST speak with your teacher/professor about if things come down to this, as it requires a LOT of effort from both you *and* them.
   

These are extremely important to keep in mind as you explain your situation to the people around you.

I firmly believe that the less time you spend making up a story as to what happened, the better off you're going to be. Sometimes you'll get lucky and ridiculous events just happen to be the truth. I have typically had more pleasant experiences when I've told the truth than when I've tried to BS my way out of something. I'm warning you, it probably won't be pretty when you admit you screwed up, but by taking ownership of your mistakes you're more likely to get the help you need. Doing it the first time is by far the hardest; I assure you though, it gets easier over time.

I have been (justifiably) chewed out by both teachers and students, but have also been shocked by the actions others took to help bail me out. This has all happened with both teachers AND students. I will never forget the kindness one group leader showed me when I admitted to the group that I hadn't done my work. She simply nodded, and without batting an eye or ANY visible change in emotion, she calmly gave me her notes, and told me to read the highlighted parts to prepare. It was amazing - nobody had EVER reacted to me that way before.

One time I slept through a test, and later that afternoon sent an apologetic message to the professor, asking if I could come in another time and take it. He sent me a message that basically said, "It depends on why you missed it." At that point I figured I was doomed anyway, so I told him the truth. He let me come in on a Saturday when other people were working on a competition test to finish it; he then told me as I handed it in that the only reason he let me make it up was because I told the truth.

Follow Through

You may not always get lucky, but at least, by building up a record of honesty you have a better chance. It takes a LOT more for a teacher who likes you to fail you from a course. If you DO get an extension, make every effort to get the teacher what you promised to deliver! Do whatever it takes - use the rest of my blog to help you make the most of your time. Best of luck to you - hopefully you won't find yourself in this big of a jam again.

Before I close on this post, I'd just like to comment on the size of my schools. I went to a fairly small college, about 1200-1500 students, and a similarly sized high school - about 250 kids in my graduating class. These tips worked wonders at my college. Could anyone comment on large/huge colleges? Please leave comments and observations.

This is an extensive post, and if I've missed anything, I will add it at a later date if I catch it. Again, best of luck!

Study Break!

There's a lot of pretty deep content on my blog - so I figured now might be a good time to throw some VERY humorous pictures on here. These were answers to actual math and science tests; I got them through an e-mail forward and laughed hysterically. In particular, I enjoy the hangman one and 'Find x.' Enjoy!

In addition, check out Kali Karagias' blog (also in the sidebar) - she's a comedian/humorist writing from an ADD perspective. Some of her commentary is SPOT ON. Very enjoyable, light reading.

Scheduling's biological importance to ADDers

A very unlikely source prompted this learning - an article called "Have Scientists Found a Way to Read Your Mind?" over at howstuffworks.com. These German scientists figured this out through fMRI brain scans (functional Magnetic Resonanace Imaging) - the same types of brain scans Dr. Amen (Healing ADD and Change Your Brain, Change Your Life) uses in his research!

The researchers at the Max Planck Institute made these discoveries (emphasis added by me):

• Freely chosen intentions are stored in the prefrontal cortex.
• Intentions based on external orders are stored in a different part of the brain than those based on internal choice. Intentions based on "following orders" live on the surface of the brain, not deep in the gray matter.
• When intentions are acted upon, the neural activity moves to a slightly different part of the brain, meaning the brain essentially "copies" the intention and transfers it in order to convert it into action.

What this means for ADDers

How does this relate to ADD/HD? According to Dr. Amen's research, the prefrontal cortex is the main area of focus (unintended but convenient pun) - it governs the ability to concentrate on tasks, ignore irrelevant information (i.e.distractions), and now, with this new research, we can add taking initiative to the list.

In ADD/HD brains, Dr. Amen found that during prolonged concentration, the PFC actually shuts down! It simply malfunctions. This explains why I always felt so physically exhausted after getting stuck on physics problems for more than 15 minutes. Also, in his research, he found that the stimulants DO help restore normal activity to this part of the brain. On a side note, I've actually noticed that I'm typically more cheerful and energetic while I'm on my meds. My guess is because action isn't stuck in the PFC, draining my energy.

This is only one piece of the puzzle, though. What I thought was fascinating was that actions based on external orders were stored in a different part of the brain. This, combined with the third point, explain why it is ALSO much easier (more efficient?) for ADDers to follow orders than to execute a plan entirely on their own. It explains why ADDers will pair up with organized - or worse, bossy or controlling - significant others; it takes less energy to live. What are you supposed to do when you don't want to rely on someone else to plan your day? Make a fairly strict schedule.

According to this research, creating a schedule (complete with alarms if you have a PDA like a Palm) should serve the exact same purpose as listening to someone else tell you what to do - it should bypass the PFC entirely. Instead of having to decide on the spot what to do - and risking your decisions never making it out of the PFC - you can 'take orders' from your yesterday's self through the plan, and never have to worry about your decisions getting stuck in the PFC (causing the idling).

The purpose of my blog

I have made a number of posts already with survival tips and tricks, including my post on How I Killed Writer's Block, and my post on The Art of Pulling an All-Nighter. I only briefly hinted at part of my goal in 'A brief introduction,' but there's a lot more going on than just that.

Over the years, I have read countless books on being productive, responsible individuals. I have also read many books on how to get organized. This doesn't even include the books I've read about ADD. This accumulation of learning has taken place over roughly ten years, and I'm guessing that it shows in my postings along with my personal experience. I've read so much over the years that a LOT of information has become intuitive - and as much as I try to reference what I've read and where I've heard things, there's so much information that I've known for so long that I don't remember where I heard it. I digress.

Over this same span, I have seen virtually NOTHING about survival in a crisis. What good is advice on planning ahead and being organized when you've got a 5 page paper due in 3 hours, and another assignment due 4 hours after that? It's absolutely useless and totally impractical once you're in that situation. Worse still, once you're in that position - it's nearly impossible to pull yourself out of it because you're always fearing the nearest looming deadline. The closest I've come is in my counseling centers (at college) who can help me a day in advance. Even so - they're done at 5 or 6 pm on weekdays, and take weekends off. Who will be there to guide you at 2 am Monday morning?

This is why I started the blog; it is meant to bridge the gap from the crisis zone into the area where you have a chance to use the advice from counselors and 'get me organized' books. With 1/3 of the nation's high schoolers either flunking out or dropping out, and even grimmer statistics for ADD/HD students, something needs to be done to help them pull through.

The ADD stats I'm referring to are a study that followed diagnosed children into adulthood (my assumption is that the data is from the 1980's, but I'm not sure) - 1 in 5 ATTEMPTED college, and of them, 1 in 4 graduated. That's 1 in 20 graduating college! Granted, I'll have to look at general college graduation rates (out of the whole population) to see how statistically significant that is [i.e. how different that is from the whole] - but that's still pretty alarming to me. It always saddens me to hear people say, "I just wasn't cut out for college."

I will be using information from a variety of sources and condense/consolidate it into usable, practical forms...whether it's information presented as 'how-tos' or explains why things happen, I would like every post to add to your survivability. I had previously considered writing a book on all of this, but a blog is a far more efficient way to reach the people it is meant to help AND still allows me to earn some income from my ideas (and interpretations of other people's ideas). In addition, I don't have to work against my ADD to organize my posts into a single burst. I simply post on whatever I'm inspired by at that moment!

That being said, I hope you take the time to share links to these posts with others. They can all be viewed as their own separate web pages, so if there's something you really like, PLEASE link to it (especially those of you on Facebook - profile shares are awesome)! I am relying HEAVILY on viral/word-of-mouth marketing to let people know about my blog, and I need your help. If you have any comments or questions, feel free to leave them either here, or facebook me! I don't think I'll be accepting any friend requests, but I do welcome messages. And pokes. ;)

How I Killed Writer's Block

As in my post, "How to Pull an All-Nighter," the important topic headings - The Writing Center and The Digital Recorder - are boldfaced for scanning.

I have always had terrible problems/anxiety writing papers. I have always HATED writing assignments because of it. No amount of boldface, italics, or increases in font size can possibly stress my feelings in the previous sentence enough. I was constantly putting off papers because of that awful dread.

Oh, sure - occasionally, I will have bursts of insight that I can type about for eons on end - but that typically isn't the norm. During an official IQ test I took in 2nd grade (part of the process for my diagnosis), the psychologist asked me to write something or other. Well...I didn't. Instead, I crawled under the table and cried about it for about ten minutes. That incident is far closer to my normal reaction to paper assignments. I have even neglected to write my assignments for a number of classes! Knowing all this, it's pretty ironic that I'm writing a blog... ;)

Two of my final semester's tools worked amazingly well together to reduce my writer's block, though; my college's writing center combined with my digital recorder.

There's a list of suggestions my sister found and passed on to me at the time (I will dig it out and edit it into this post later) that made a lot of sense - some of which I was already doing. Combining them made written assignments a breeze compared to the horrible struggles I went through before. My main problem was that I always had trouble getting my countless ideas from my head to the page. This list played a part in overcoming that.

Basically, what they suggested was to find someone you could talk to for 10-20 minutes about your paper immediately before typing; essentially, to get your mind into a state of thinking about the problem and generating ideas. With the right person asking leading questions, you could essentially verbalize an entire paper in well under an hour!

The Writing Center's role

I had been essentially doing this for years through my college's Writing Center, which was chock full of tutors who were trained to help you at any stage of your paper...from brainstorming, to structuring the paper, down to copy editing. I typically used them for brainstorming and some structure. It was GREAT! I found that I always generated tons of ideas while verbally talking about them! I never really needed structure or copy editing because I found that my papers typically flowed VERY smoothly once I was on a roll. My only snag was in brainstorming - alleviated by talking to a tutor trained to draw out my ideas.

...the problem was, by the time I got to the keyboard - even with notes from the session, written by the tutor - everything I had discussed with them was gone. Another irony with me - I don't remember jack squat orally, but when *I* write it down it's typically burned into my head...at least exactly what I wrote is. This is where the digital recorder played its key role.

The digital recorder's role

The digital recorder functioned as my memory of the session. It allowed me to - on demand - play back my conversation with the tutor. This meant that every idea that came to me out of discussion was preserved! I would simply carry my recorder with me when I went to type, and play back the entire conversation while typing.

The brilliant thing about my own digital recorder, the Olympus DM-10, is that during a recording you can set up to 16 'index marks' to skip to that particular point. Think of index marks as 'tracks' on a CD. It's amazing. I'd just hit the 'set index point' button on the recorder during the conversation (or class) and I could EASILY find that point again by clicking the fast forward/rewind button during playback. I used this to mark topic changes during my writing center sessions, which allowed me to play back ideas as often as I needed to while typing. Basically, this allowed me to relive the idea generation process that occured live.

If you have a digital recorder that doesn't have this function, bring some form of stopwatch instead(cell phones typically have one), synchronize the stopwatch with the start of the recording, and just write down the stopwatch time the topic of conversation switched.

This made my last semester SO much more bearable - and allowed me to function in a class that had 10 papers due as assignments, and without relying extensively on extensions! I NEVER would have done so well before combining those ideas. If you have any comments or suggestions, please feel free to leave them!

Accomodations you have a reasonable right to ask for, under 504

I was looking around the internet for more information on the lawsuit that happened at Boston College [more appropriately to my knowledge, a college in boston] in 1997-98 when I came across a website with Legal Information and Resources on 504 accomodations in college settings. There was an abstract from a book/paper that was listed among the resources that had a HUGE list of possible suggestions. Some of these suggestions I had been coming toward on my own, but didn't know *could* be included, and others were TOTALLY beyond what I would have expected. Needless to say, they proved my point in my other post, My Views on 504 Accomodations.

The few suggestions that my college DID offer me will be boldfaced, suggestions that I've pursued on my own will be italicized, and other noteworthy ones I've thought about asking for will be marked with an asterisk.

In full, here is the abstract of the book and its info, taken from http://www.classaccommodation.org/legal_information_and_resources.htm, the site I mentioned above:

Author(s): Latham, Patricia H.; Latham, Peter S.
Corporate Author: National Center for Law and Learning Disabilities,
Cabin John, MD. [BBB35202]
Title: Attention Deficit Disorder in College: Faculty and Students.
Partners in Education. Source: 1998. 7p.
Abstract: This publication provides an overview of attention deficit disorders (ADD) and the legal rights of college students with ADD.
Possible accommodations that schools can make for students with ADD
are provided and include: (1) provide structure and reduce
distraction in class; (2) simplify and repeat instructions, as
necessary, both orally and in writing*; (3) give frequent and specific
feedback from faculty and disability services staff*; (4) provide
accommodations such as priority registration, reduced course loads*,
taped textbooks, tape recorders, course modifications*, tailored
assignments, modified text books, priority seating in the front of
the room, study guides, and summaries of important points; (5)
provide test accommodations such as extra time, quiet room,
alternative formats, and opportunities to seek clarification; (6)
allow course substitutions to fulfill certain requirements, e.g., for
foreign language and mathematics; (7) offer as electives alternative
learning style courses; (8) educate the student regarding ADD, coping
strategies, and advocacy techniques; (9) encourage the use of support
groups, counselors and advisors to assist with academic, career and
other issues; and (10) review rules and expectations and use
behavioral management techniques as needed. Possible strategies for
students with ADD are provided and a list of organizational resources
is included. (CR)
Availability: National Center for Law and Learning Disabilities, P.O.
Box 368, Cabin John, MD 20818; telephone: 301-469-8308; fax:
301-469-9466.
Accession Number: ED422699

One thing that wasn't mentioned that my college suggested, that I thought was pretty cool, was that they could get me a note-taker to help me take notes during classes, in addition to me writing my own notes; they could give another student in the class a carbon-copy notebook that they could then give copies to me from, among other things.

To be honest, though, I was pretty ticked off when I looked at this full list. I wound up using a digital recorder of my own (which was AMAZING), but was surprised that it was something that could have been offered by the schools. Adding course modifications, study guides, summaries and tailored assignments to the list pretty much threw me over the edge. Why wasn't I told? Why didn't I find out about this until AFTER I graduated? It was both liberating and infuriating at once - because I knew I was justified in being frustrated at the time, and could let others know what they can reasonably request. The one thing I don't know (and still don't have an answer to), however, is whether the school is obligated to suggest or fund these ideas. The answer to that question could be damning to a lot of districts and colleges.

Course modifications were one thing that I REALLY favored and was never sure were appropriate to ask for. Specifically, I'm talking about grade weighting. There were many times I felt like I was doomed the moment I saw that two or three papers were going to be 30-50% of my grade or more. I failed, barely passed, or dropped most of these classes due to extreme problems getting my ideas to the page on command. If I could shift emphasis to my strong areas (test taking), or if that emphasis was already there, I was virtually always guaranteed a minimum of a low B. I believe difficulty in writing papers (which I often flat out didn't) dropped my final GPA one full point.

Reduced course loads are a...somewhat dubious suggestion. For one, most on 504 are somewhat self-conscious about asking for help. Many times, ADDers get questioned/pressured about the validity of their requests from other students. It's a serious hassle, and often gets in their way of asking for VALID accomodations. It's sad that ADDers need to be encouraged to even ask for things they need to survive the system. To those who wonder: ADDers aren't looking for easy street, and it's difficult to acknowledge there's a problem. It doesn't surprise me that there's a high incidence of depression among students with learning disabilities.

I have also seen "reduced course load" suggested as a reduced credit load per semester. Don't get me wrong - when I've had to drop classes halfway through the semester it felt GREAT to only have three classes! I had more than enough time for everything. However, I feel that this is an incredibly unrealistic suggestion - I don't know of many (any?) standard scholarships OR loans that will last more than 8 semesters. If you don't have your credits/credit hours complete by then, what are you supposed to do? More often than not, lack of finances cause people to drop out. If finances DON'T force these people out of school, the falling grades from trying to do homework while working part-time or full-time to support tuition probably WILL.

More of these suggestions will be covered over time. First to mind are working with professors to structure grading, suggestions on paper-writing, and uses for a tape/digital recorder.

My views on 504 Accomodations

I have been using 504 Accomodations ever since I started taking meds for my ADD; which was in 7th grade. I've been using them long enough to understand what goes on with them, behind them, and how they're typically used - and I have a few things to say about them.

Overview

504 Accomodations, as I mentioned in my post "Why be diagnosed with ADD/HD?" require by law that schools and colleges do everything in their power to assist you to succeed...a lawsuit at Boston College between '97-'98 cemented that into place. This is in place to protect people with mental disabilities, of which ADD is included, from discrimination. It allows affected students to request accomodations with their studies (of which, I intended this blog to guide you) - including, but not limited to, extra time on tests, papers and projects.

The way the school system is set up works ENTIRELY against ADD/HD - such students are constantly tested on their worst weaknesses (assignments demanding hours of focus with little reinforcement or 'checkpoints' to gauge progress from), and it is an incredible nightmare to survive at times. When attempting physics homework, I would get physically tired if I tried to focus on a single problem for more than 15-30 minutes in one sitting (meds lenghtened this limit immensely). Likewise, if I was in a boring lecture, I would get extremely sleepy after 30-40 minutes. Heat or afternoon classes (2:30-4 pm was the worst) intensified this effect.

This is in addition to the assumed problems of scheduling time for writing papers, difficulties in writing papers, procrastinating the writing of said papers...

Purpose/Use of 504

Enter the 504 Accomodations. In my experience, the main use of 504 accomodations is to shield you from the worst consequences of 'screwing up' while in the system. As I said in my post about why you'd want a ADD/HD diagnosis, this alone is worth the price tag of an official diagnosis.

504 Accomodations allow you to ask for extensions on papers, get additional time to take tests, and so forth. This has also included reduced or eliminated penalties for late work, in the past. As I said, 504 is more of a shield than anything else...but a VERY necessary one! I doubt I would have graduated without using 504. Also - there were times when I tried to go without it, feeling like I relied on it too much. Don't make that mistake. Those accomodations are there for a reason - to protect you! I feel like, as a student, you need to do what you can to protect yourself from harm and loss. 504 is a solid way of doing that.

Limitations of the School System

I am grateful to an ex for helping me let go of the bitterness and anger I constantly felt toward the system, and that allowed me to see more of what was really going on. The system wasn't consciously trying to bring me down...what's happening is that - because 504 is still a relatively new thing for them to deal with - they're short on ideas.

One of my biggest frustrations was in going consistently to counseling centers and hearing the exact same limited ideas over and over - of which none changed anything. Extra test time, extensions on paper, seat in the front, ability to leave once during long classes to stretch; year in, and year out.

One of the main problems I have with 504 is that I feel like it's sometimes used as a copout by the system. Instead of truly changing to help the students, the system can offer a few suggestions and simply shrug its shoulders. They're complying with the law, and that's all that matters. They expect you to come up with the majority of solutions. To a point, this is okay - you have a better idea of your strengths and weaknesses than they do - but they are the ones who deal with hundreds of students every year.

It has been almost ten years since the initial lawsuit at Boston College led to revisions of ADA, and I am only now starting to see improvements in attention to students with LDs. My college has just this year added a position in its counseling department to focus on these students...which would have been nice while I was still there. It's a step in the right direction - these students should not be left to fend for themselves.

Parental Abuse of the System

I have started reading many, many reports on how competitive parents are starting to perceive college entrance requirements to be, and how cutthroat these parents are getting. In addition to going to college advisors (more or less performance coaches) as early as these students' freshman years to make them 'Ivy League material' (I believe some of this is documented in the book "Branded," by Alissa Quart), it's getting to the point where some of them are forcing doctors and psychologists to give their kids false diagnoses for LDs (Learning Disabilities)!

I have zero tolerance for this kind of behavior, and giving normal kids advantages they don't need infuriates me. 504 and ADD/HD coping tools can be looked at like a pair of eyeglasses (Drs. Hallowell and Ratey, authors of "Driven to Distraction," use this analogy) - someone who is nearsighted won't be able to see clearly until they have glasses to correct their vision. In this context, giving normal students these accomodations is like giving them a pair of binoculars! I find this kind of action by these parents dishonest, immoral, and inexcusable.

As I was beginning this post, I came across some resources that can help you understand what you can legally ask for/expect from your colleges/schools to help you with; only a tiny fraction of these were offered to me. In another post, I will share these resources along with my own spin.